the prank? or being someone else? they're not mutually exclusive even i want to be someone else sometimes
and don't think like that even the best among us have moments of weakness how many so called heroes steep themselves in the pleasant thought of revenge? the labels are no clearer than the waters between them
it was nice to disappear a little but i also enjoyed people taking it all so seriously which in hindsight is precisely the problem
one does assume that graduating implies i am the best version of myself possible so it is upsetting to discover i will make the exact same mistakes i always have but now people expected better from me rather than assuming the worst
people taking it seriously means you actually were someone else, though you didn't have to pretend you felt fine being you because that's what people expected if my speaking with malekith made that worse, i'm sorry that isn't what i'd intended
but graduating doesn't make you the best version of yourself all of us can only ever continue working toward that, warden or not graduating just means you're ready to accept that journey, i think which means, yes, people will expect better rather than assume the worst, but that accountability is how we stay on track we're not expecting better just to fault you; we're expecting better because we know how much you can do when you are
that is generous of you but i do think i shall have to work to regain the others' trust not that i have the slightest clue where to start on that front
trust isn't about what's enough would you really trust someone who's only done just enough? wouldn't you rather put your faith in someone who would go further simply for the sake of it?
i'm not saying it's the words themselves that matter here either there's a phrase on earth "actions speak louder than words"
i'd never blame you or anyone else for doubting me i do my own share of it for the same reasons and i could just as easily wonder why anyone would trust me either which i do
but what does that accomplish? why paint yourself into a corner and mourn the fact indefinitely when you could wait it out, fix the mistake, and be done with it entirely?
you don't gotta thank me friends are supposed to help each other
anyway you're more than you realize if you ever feel stuck again, try looking at it from another angle and if you can't, there's nothing wrong with asking someone else what they think either
[Loki chafes at the kindness, but takes the advice regardless. He kept so many things to himself that he essentially kept exploding on larger and larger scales, in life. Sharing things is what graduated him, more than anything else.
But he's already shared plenty today.]
I will. But for now, I need time to myself, I think.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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didn't realize the breadth of that scheme
guess that's on me
knowing what to expect doesn't preclude misjudging severity
there's a lot i could say but i'm sure you're already making everything worse in your head anyway
just remember:
you did graduate
you have the propensity
honesty, not manipulation
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thank you for choosing to add to the pile anyway
it is appreciated
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i'd rather my support of friendly pranks be clear is all
and anyway do you really prefer dead ended silence?
i will eat my next foam fork if you do
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i don't
but i think i'd prefer demotion to the wave of disappointment
particularly given i enjoyed it all so much
seems telling
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the prank? or being someone else?
they're not mutually exclusive
even i want to be someone else sometimes
and don't think like that
even the best among us have moments of weakness
how many so called heroes steep themselves in the pleasant thought of revenge?
the labels are no clearer than the waters between them
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but i also enjoyed people taking it all so seriously
which in hindsight
is precisely the problem
one does assume that graduating implies i am the best version of myself possible
so it is upsetting to discover i will make the exact same mistakes i always have but now people expected better from me rather than assuming the worst
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people taking it seriously means you actually were someone else, though
you didn't have to pretend you felt fine being you because that's what people expected
if my speaking with malekith made that worse, i'm sorry
that isn't what i'd intended
but graduating doesn't make you the best version of yourself
all of us can only ever continue working toward that, warden or not
graduating just means you're ready to accept that journey, i think
which means, yes, people will expect better rather than assume the worst, but that accountability is how we stay on track
we're not expecting better just to fault you; we're expecting better because we know how much you can do when you are
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but i do think i shall have to work to regain the others' trust
not that i have the slightest clue where to start on that front
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i mean you should definitely do that
i'm probably the opposite of what most people consider normal
just start with an apology
go from there
the rest will come when you've found your footing again
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trust isn't about what's enough
would you really trust someone who's only done just enough?
wouldn't you rather put your faith in someone who would go further simply for the sake of it?
i'm not saying it's the words themselves that matter here either
there's a phrase on earth
"actions speak louder than words"
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Perhaps I'm just far more accustomed to people not doing much at all.
The few that do are rare.
And one wonders what their motives are.
In hindsight it does seem absurd to ask anyone to trust me, ever.
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i'd never blame you or anyone else for doubting me
i do my own share of it for the same reasons
and i could just as easily wonder why anyone would trust me either
which i do
but what does that accomplish?
why paint yourself into a corner and mourn the fact indefinitely when you could wait it out, fix the mistake, and be done with it entirely?
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Thank you, James.
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you don't gotta thank me
friends are supposed to help each other
anyway
you're more than you realize
if you ever feel stuck again, try looking at it from another angle
and if you can't, there's nothing wrong with asking someone else what they think either
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But he's already shared plenty today.]
I will.
But for now, I need time to myself, I think.
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of coursedon't be a stranger