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[shiftedshape]

Comments

[beejfu]

Oh yeah, totes, that's not something I was expecting. I mean, I spent literal centuries trying to pimp my image.

[he totally glosses over the file portion. It could be that Betelgeuse really has problems spelling, given how much difficulty he seems to have with his own name]

Cool, cool. I mean. If you WANTED to murder me, I'd probably find it funny. And you're one of my loved ones now, so, you gotta deal with that. Hey, though, word of advice? If you DO feel a bit murder-happy, go with an axe or a sword or something. It's quicker and is less of a pain-in-the-ass to come back from.

[shiftedshape]

[Loved ones. Oh, he's in over his head, isn't he?]

I'll...keep that in mind. I generally prefer knives, though.

[He can't really picture wanting to murder Betelgeuse but not wanting to inconvenience him. Then again, who knows what might happen in a breach.

Loki steps away, starting to pace without really noticing it himself, his arms held behind him like a soldier at ease.]

So now we start working in earnest, I suppose. The others will be expecting me to "improve" somehow. I think I'd prefer to be explicitly graded as well, but here we are.

[He catches himself mid-stride, cursing his drifting attention allowing such an obvious show of anxiety. He stops, turning back to Betelgeuse again.]

Shall we set some sort of goal, then?

[Something small, ideally. Something he can actually manage so he can remain on the Barge, alive. Just a bit more time.]

[beejfu]

[Betelgeuse gives Loki a delighted grin back, pleased as punch that they're already on the same page. He watches him pace, curiously with his head tilted to one side]

Knives are always a classic in my book.

Okay, yeah. Probs. Let's do that.

So, you know why you're here. I have a ...vague idea about what makes an inmate.

Maybe we shelve all the emotional crap for later, and have some daily chats and check-ins? Kinda like a "Have you murdered somebody today? Did someone make you wanna murder them today?" routine.

Whaddayah think?

[shiftedshape]

That's...easy enough. How much time do you think we have before I should have made progress?

[Just so he knows how long he might have.]

[beejfu]

[BJ thinks to himself, and manages to come up with (for him!) a relatively straight answer]

Most kids take about a year to graduate. That's where a lot of the floods and shit come in handy; I had my biggest meltdowns after those and Hange talked me through them.

Hate to say it but it's gonna be all emotional baggage. But that's great for you, because you're with the best guy to handle that around!

[shiftedshape]

[Loki momentarily gets a wildly skeptical look on his face. Did Betelgeuse just block out the egg incident entirely?

But it doesn't matter, really. Loki's the one who has to find a way to stay here. He'll...figure something out. Think on his feet. Probably take horrible advantage of all this trust Betelgeuse is putting in him. Like always.

But you could be more.

Loki forces himself to take a deep breath.]

I suppose we'll be crossing a lot of bridges as we come to them. You wardens don't secretly get a calendar of upcoming flood and breach nonsense so we can prepare, do you?

[beejfu]

[Betelgeuse carries on, either willfully ignorant or happily oblivious to the massive dissonance between his words and reality]

Hah, I wish. People smarter than me can kinda sorta guess when they happen but it's always a rough estimate.

Nah, we're just gonna wing it. Oh! Speaking of!

[BJ starts to write out a chart. It's angled so Loki can see it. In awful spelling and handwriting]

BJ and Loki's Graduation Guide!

Rule number 1: Loki will talk about his shit. BJ will listen and not make it about himself.

let me know if i misunderstood lol

[shiftedshape]

[Loki's eyebrows raise as Betelgeuse grabs a chart out of what he can only assume is a dimensional pocket. Huh. That's a new one.

The first rule isn't surprising, but Loki doesn't bother to hide his discomfort, giving a tight nod.]

Alright. I can try.

His pockets are pretty much bottomless. he has so much crap in there.

[beejfu]

[He nods, checking it off]

Yeah, yeah. Me too.

Rule Number 2: BJ will have Loki's back in battle and also in fun and be in his court. Loki will not bring up the forbidden subjects of 'bath' and 'water' around BJ.

[shiftedshape]

[Loki debates arguing against Betelgeuse fighting beside him. He understands it's probably more about the spirit of the thing than literal, but there's so much about it he dislikes. The sense that he isn't strong enough to fight his own battles. Putting someone in danger due to his own selfish choices. The fact that Betelgeuse likely doesn't need any more excuses to antagonize people.

But the fact of the matter is, he's not much of a rule follower to begin with. And now that he has his magic, well. If he needs to incapacitate Betelgeuse for his own good, he can.

He nods again.]

You're sure there's nothing else you'd like to add to that list?

[beejfu]

[Betelgeuse, on the other hand, isn't thinking of real battles. He's thinking about crap like Steve Rogers giving the both of them shit; of wardens side-eyeing him of being in their ranks. He always wanted to have a close friend and this ship keeps on delivering]

I mean, not right away, but if we both agree to something down the road, sure.

Why, you wanna add a rule?

[shiftedshape]

[Loki shakes his head.]

No, not yet. I'm just surprised you aren't asking more of me. Is hygiene your only line?

[beejfu]

Well, I mean. You're new, I'm new. We're in the beginning stage of our relationship, and like I said, I'm just so happy to be here at all. Why force all these rules on you when we don't even know each other that well yet?

Ugh. Not hygiene, just bathing. Water bathing. I take these really cool sci-fi shower things, you don't need water and suddenly everyone is way into you more when you do!

Also I like sand baths. Like chinchillas do!!

[shiftedshape]

[Loki is...actually quite relieved that this is how Betelgeuse feels about rules. It doesn't bode well for graduation necessarily, but at the very least it seems unlikely he'll anger his warden enough to get reassigned or, well. Worse.

So he actually manages a genuine laugh at that description, relaxing more fully than he has since the announcement was made.]

I think I understand. I'll keep that distinction in mind.

[He pauses for a moment, considering whether he has anything he'd like to take off the table conversation-wise. But the chances of bringing those things up making Betelgeuse more curious seem pretty high. Perhaps he'll simply ask to amend the rules should anything come up. Assuming he doesn't lash out violently instead...]

If you're satisfied with that list, I'm happy to agree to all of it. Is there anything else I should expect? [He pauses, suddenly remembering:] You'll be able to...track me now, correct?

[beejfu]

[Betelgeuse, during Loki's pause, sits and gazes adoringly (and unnervingly) at him like he simply can't drink him in enough. This is his inmate. HIS inmate! And he's amazing and incredible and tall and good-looking and everything he could have ever imagined in a best friend.

They're going to be SUCH a great team]

Oh shit, will I?

[He doesn't even know. BJ wonders what his warden item might be. He starts to empty his pockets. Partially. All over the floor of Loki's room.

There are a disturbing number of living bugs in there. He seems to have a rolodex's worth of business cards. Black nail polish. Tiny bottles of arsenic, cyanide, and laudanum. Lighters, matches, and tinderboxes. A compact shaped like a fat beetle. Sandy, the (previously) sleeping sandworm who hisses and dives under Loki's furniture. Green hair dye. Loose change. Melted chocolate bars in their wrappers. Girl scout patches. The list keeps going.

He sits there pondering his stash, wondering which of these might be his warden item]

[shiftedshape]

[Loki watches with wide eyes as Betelgeuse proceeds to turn his room-- which is already less than ideal given it resembles an Asgardian prison cell --into a hoard of miscellaneous objects. He actually feels his anxiety about all this ratchet up again at the very obvious reminder that Betelgeuse is a bit mad and unstable and fully in charge of him now.]

You really didn't-- you weren't told what it was? Is there some way you can summon it or something?

[beejfu]

[His eyes dart nervously up at Loki and back to the pile a few times. BJ has this way of making himself look very small in comparison]

Maybe. I have trouble remembering shit sometimes.

Uh.

It's supposed to beep if you die, I know that. We could kill you?

[shiftedshape]

[Loki's eyes widen.]

I-- no. Is that-- is that enough of an issue that wardens need a death alarm?

[beejfu]

[A worried pause.]

Well, I kinda. Killed at least three people when I was an inmate here so...sure, probably?

[shiftedshape]

[Loki closes his eyes. Takes a breath. Opens his eyes again.]

I suppose we'll find your item when I inevitably die, then.

[beejfu]

....Not inevitably. I could ask the -

HEY!

I could ask the Admiral what my item is!

[shiftedshape]

[Loki feels a little annoyed at the both of them for not thinking of it.]

Right. Of course.

[...And since he might as well take advantage of the situation.]

Maybe once you've found it, it'd be better if I hang onto it. So you don't lose it again.

[beejfu]

Oh, so you can go to bars and places?

[shiftedshape]

...Yes.

[Those are benefits but surely there must be more to the items, right?]

[beejfu]

I can come with you! Get some experience being a living guy!

Besides, Hange is in a coma and I've got her item now anyway.