shiftedshape | IC Inbox

Shit, man, don't compare me to your dickhead brother. I don't...I'm not entitled because I'm not attractive. That's why I fall over myself to get people to like me.

So it isn't really about liking them in particular, nor about what they want. Maybe it isn't entitlement, but it's certainly thinking of yourself first.

It was easy for me to see how Thor did it. It's not so easy to see it in myself. I liked to think he was especially rude or cruel, but, well. I'm the one paying for my selfish crimes. Figuring out what they are is a decent amount of the challenge, so far. But when I think about others first, it's...easier.

[As gently as he can manage:] I'm not saying you're a dickhead. I just think you might need to pay a little more attention. Even if it's mostly hindsight, for now.

Yeah. Shit. Shit-fuck.

[he says, articulately]

Why do you have to be so amazing at figuring out people's motivations, Inmate?

I'm an incredibly skilled manipulator. Seeing what motivates others is useful in maneuvering them where I want them to be. Applying that to myself is. Significantly more difficult and uncomfortable.

Argh. I love it when you talk dirty to me.

Not in a sexual way, fyi.

Thanks. I'm weirdly starting to feel better.

[He gives a light snort.]

I guess that's something.

[He pauses as something like self-awareness hits him and he adds:] I may have been overly harsh at points, there. Harmful impulsivity has always rubbed me the wrong way. It was a bad habit of my brother's that was always easily excused, whereas anything I did was treated as horribly malicious because I put thought into it.

Hey, I get it. I'm..trying to strike a balance between lovable but boring and unpredictably asshole-ish. It's harder than you'd think.

Still bullshit you guys got treated different. I never had a sibling so I was always the least favorite.

Admittedly, it's possible my perspective is a bit...skewed. But that doesn't change the fact that little effort was made to correct me, really.

I'm...glad I helped, somehow. [He sounds surprised to be saying this.]