It would certainly be simpler if he could point to one single cause for all his failures. But it wouldn't make overcoming them any easier. Being evil at his core doesn't exactly solve itself.
At her question, he shrugs. "Leave me alone, largely. But I also sabotaged my brother's coronation because I doubted he was ready. Which he immediately proved to be true, I might add." He scowls a little, eyes darting away as he remembers. "It didn't work out. I discovered my nature in the course of it. Went a bit mad over it. Sort of ended sabotaging myself, in hindsight."
That was usually what happened, actually.
"Even when I'm right, I'm wrong. Seems a bit like the deck is stacked against me, don't you agree?"
Hardly sounds sweet, but she's not without sympathy. After considering it a moment she pats his shoulder - twice, light, and her hands return to her lap. Companionable.
"I'm sorry things turn out like that. You're sounding pretty self-aware, at least. If you can keep ahold of that long enough to resist jumping into the same traps you could probably cover a lot of ground. Still feeling a bit mad about things, or-?"
There are factors ultimately working in favor of recovery and composure, but on the whole she does seem receptively wired for them. Hard to let even an echo of a friendship die.
And he seems like the sort to need it. At his question, she shrugs. Honest. Not flippant, but decidedly casual.
"I wouldn't call it a pressing concern, but it's good to know what you think, and what to expect when the ship pushes too hard. People blow up a lot and things turn up alright, but it's probably good to check and know whether or not to expect it."
Loki's not surprised that people would blow up given his first flood and breach. They were both bound to rile people up, and most of these people seem to be bad at coping with boredom, let alone having their buttons pushed. He's surprised she's concluded things turn out okay more often than not.
"I wish I could say I know what is likely to 'set me off', but given what I've seen so far I really don't know what to expect. Not to mention the fact that this place seems capable of taking my ability to control myself away." At least, that's what the flood that happened just before he arrived sounded like, from what he's been told.
He sighs, sitting up straight again. "In any case, I'm not an idiot. If I'm trapped here, it would be foolish to intentionally do damage." And he's starting to like some people here, though he'd likely do plenty of damage just by admitting that.
"Foolish things don't always feel foolish in the heat of the moment," she counters with a wry smile. Everyone simply having bouts of foolishness would be too easy an explanation for such a variety of complex people. "Right buttons pushed at once, anybody's gonna do some stupid stuff. Those are the things it's better to not hold against somebody too much."
Within reason. Of course.
"Probably good to have hit that point already though. Things run smoother for you."
As she speaks, Loki realizes that he actually would like to know what his buttons are. He has an idea of some of them, but even he has been surprised at things that have upset him in the past. Perhaps he'll never know precisely why those things are an issue, but he'd at least know to avoid them if possible. It's something to work on with a warden, perhaps, if only to keep him from being expelled from the ship entirely.
"Thank you for your counsel, Miss Misty. I might just do well here after all."
Not graduation well, necessarily. But not as poorly as he might've thought.
It's reassurance enough. If he can stay on board, eventually the right stimuli will work out a lot of the rest. Something of a weight lifted, she bows her head.
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At her question, he shrugs. "Leave me alone, largely. But I also sabotaged my brother's coronation because I doubted he was ready. Which he immediately proved to be true, I might add." He scowls a little, eyes darting away as he remembers. "It didn't work out. I discovered my nature in the course of it. Went a bit mad over it. Sort of ended sabotaging myself, in hindsight."
That was usually what happened, actually.
"Even when I'm right, I'm wrong. Seems a bit like the deck is stacked against me, don't you agree?"
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"I'm sorry things turn out like that. You're sounding pretty self-aware, at least. If you can keep ahold of that long enough to resist jumping into the same traps you could probably cover a lot of ground. Still feeling a bit mad about things, or-?"
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But her question earns something of a smirk. "Less than before, I suppose. Larger concerns arose. And I had a few years to 'recover', you could say."
He leans his head onto one hand, elbow resting on the arm of the chair. "Do you worry I'm unstable?"
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And he seems like the sort to need it. At his question, she shrugs. Honest. Not flippant, but decidedly casual.
"I wouldn't call it a pressing concern, but it's good to know what you think, and what to expect when the ship pushes too hard. People blow up a lot and things turn up alright, but it's probably good to check and know whether or not to expect it."
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"I wish I could say I know what is likely to 'set me off', but given what I've seen so far I really don't know what to expect. Not to mention the fact that this place seems capable of taking my ability to control myself away." At least, that's what the flood that happened just before he arrived sounded like, from what he's been told.
He sighs, sitting up straight again. "In any case, I'm not an idiot. If I'm trapped here, it would be foolish to intentionally do damage." And he's starting to like some people here, though he'd likely do plenty of damage just by admitting that.
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Within reason. Of course.
"Probably good to have hit that point already though. Things run smoother for you."
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"Thank you for your counsel, Miss Misty. I might just do well here after all."
Not graduation well, necessarily. But not as poorly as he might've thought.
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"Fingers crossed for you."